If you really didn’t care, like you’re trying to show right now, you wouldn’t be checking and posting tumblr at 3 AM. Trying to be bitter, like yay she’s gone. It just shows you’re still thinking about me. You still care as much as I do. I think it’s going to take a long time for us to really stop thinking about each other.
Just know that when I think about you, it’s not bad thoughts. Just memories, things I’ll always miss.
Bye Rocky.
That you had never forgotten why you fell in love with me in the first place.
That you would realize that you’re not always right. That sometimes my side makes a little sense too.
That you would seehow badly you have shattered my heart.
That you were not ruining my name, telling everyone I cheated on you, making them look at me with disgust and contempt when they walk past.
That my dad would take the job in Arizona, so I could start over and try to forget and live in the sunshine and not have to drive to school in the dark freezing rain every morning, letting the weather emphasize how worthless I really am.
That I was strong enough to say “what done is done.” and not even notice the way you look at other girls. Not notice your attempts to make me angry or jealous. That I could just say “semper ad meliora, nemini crede.” and move on with my life instead of torturing myself by wanting the only thing I cannot obtain.
That I didn’t want to kill myself.
All it will bring is pain. Why do you want to keep it? Explain your reasoning. Because in my eyes..Our boy will never exist, he’ll never be brought to this earth, so why save something for him? So I can look at it and cry and long for what I’ll never have? I don’t want to think about our kids. They’re not real, and they’ll only bring me misery if I hold on to them.
